Saturday, November 7, 2009

Second Life Relationship Part III

It has been three weeks since you read my first blog & now you have hooked him.  You took your time, have gotten to know him and now you two see less and less of each other as you two fall back into your old SL routine.  You are working on your projects & he is working on his.  The visits get less and less but do not let the conversations dwindle.  The challenge is to keep the interest alive in SL.  Not easily done but the rewards are worth it.
            I still say keep your personal 1st life info separate from your 2nd unless you are looking for that relationship outside of SL so some of this will not pertain to you, keep the lines of communication open outside of SL.  You are not logged on 24hrs a day (and if you are something is seriously wrong with you lol) so you cannot be available to talk to in SL.  Create a Gmail or Yahoo account for your avatar, with this you can still send little messages to each other throughout the day and also use their built in chat feature for the times when you don’t want to log in.
You need something to talk about besides big bootied avatars and guys wearing too much bling, get them engaged into conversations that challenge the mind.  I like to watch one dramatic movie a week because they a person can have more to say than ‘It was good/bad’ or ‘that was funny’.  Instead, it opens up a person to deeper conversations because the subject matter requires you to place yourself in that situation.  So break down music, art, movies, books and anything else that requires a person to think and keeps their attention.
Group get togethers are necessary as well.  If we all are in the same place to local chat then that reduces the amount of IM’s a person receives.  Also take classes together in SL, they are a great way to get a common interest that you two can combine resources on and really grow.  I am really proud of my SL sister because she has taken photography( follow this link to see her work) to a new level when she met her now current partner.  He enjoys photography so she found a way that the two of them can bond even more.  I am not saying that you need to change your lifestyle or take on the hobbies of your loved one but think about this…..if you can’t relate to her when she is focused on a project someone else will and when the communication breaks down, that sexy avatar will begin to look less and less attractive as the mental side of the relationship dissolves into conversations about ‘want to try out my new digital genitals?!’
To summarize all three sections: 1.take it slow & 2. Go beyond the sexy avatar 3. Plant seeds of intelligent thought into their minds and nurture it.  If we do not have anything good to say then we tend to say nothing at all. Don't have chat boxes that look like this:
PersonA: How was your day? PersonB: okay A:I missed you B: aww ty (20 minutes go by) A: I'll brb B: K ttyl.
As always I welcome your comments, hate mail & voicemails! Have a great one everyone!

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