Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Pimp Slapping is Good for the Soul

As a kid, I remember getting into fights with my best friend on a regular basis.  One of those fights stick to my memory for some reason.  It was not out of the ordinary but I remember throwing a bicycle wheel at him, which hurt him very badly, and he dropped kick me in return.  The battle was a stalemate and after an hour or so, we calmed down and went back to playing with our dolls, ahem, I mean action figures.  Our parents and society encourage us to talk our differences out rather than resorting to physical contact.  Many civil right leaders also taught their followers that violence would not solve anything.  What happens when diplomacy fails? This time of year both customers and retail employees are feeling the stress of the season.  Here is a remedy.

A friend of mine was telling me about how she did not want to go to work because she might be fired for slapping someone.  I normally do not promote violence but in some cases I agree you just might have to slap a bitch.
You know exactly what I am talking about people!  There is this one person (Hopefully it is only one person otherwise, you might be the one asking for a beat down) that is always stealing your energy, your joy.  You have tried to be courteous, pleasant and even avoidance but whenever that person says your name, it just makes your skin crawl and your blood boil. 
            I say take it outside.  Tell that person to meet you in the bathroom, the roof or heck even in a cubicle where you can tell them exactly what is on your mind.  You are probably thinking that I have lost my mind but there is an unspoken hierarchy that exists in society.  People tend to think that we are above the animals but instead we should learn from them.  We need to tap into our primal nature and show people who exactly is the alpha male and female. 
            Next time someone gets in your face, talks trash, run your name through the mud or even looks at you cross-eyed……shove a foot so far up their ass they will need it surgically removed, literally.  They need to be put in their place plain and simple.  Words will not suffice.
            Oh by the way, this is just the ramblings of a mad man.  I do not promote violence and if you do put your hands on someone, your ass will be arrested.  


  1. lmfaooo. nice con. love the ending
    - Ada :]

  2. Oh god, YES i so agree :-) And as a woman its even more difficult. When you grow up everybody tells you "oh dear, dont do that, behave". I never did and in the kindergarden i had my regulary fight, usualy with boys, lol. But afterwards they respected me. But when you grew up you become so "civilized" and avoid physically violence, which is in the most cases a good thing. But as you said, sometimes you just so want to punch someones face, lol.