Wednesday, December 2, 2009

What's Wrong with Men These Days?!

Here it is in a nutshell ladies you don't give men the chance to be men.  ‘He trifling and ain't got no job,' well give him a chance and stop treating him as a child.  I’m going to list five things you women can do to get that man to stop being trifling and for you to stop being so nagging.
1.   Stop with all the questions
a.   We men don’t talk often about our feelings so stop asking us ‘Why won’t you talk to me; I know something is wrong what is it or blah blah blah?’ We need time to think and really appreciate an initial show of concern then we want you to back away.  If you see he is being quiet and something is bugging him, all you need to do is say ‘I can see that something is bothering you, if you want to talk about it I’ll be here for you’ then walk away.  Find something to occupy your time.  He will be working out his issues, which sometimes take a while.
2.   Positive Reinforcement
a.   Men love to be needed and being told they are doing a good job.  That is when they do actually do something.  You might have to dig deep but tell him he did a good job and you really appreciate his effort.  His tail will start wagging and it will empower him to go out & do something else nice for you.  You will find that you will have to repeat things less often and he will actually seem more loving, giving you the attention you want & deserve.  You have to be patient.
3.   Give Him a Chance to Step Up
a.   This is actually hard to implement because there are things that cannot wait but it ties in with steps 2 and 4.  When he fails do not say ‘I told you so’ that will belittle him and force him to not want to try to please you.  He will start thinking that nothing he does is ever good enough for you.  You come off as a bitch and he will clam up.  He is not a child no matter how he acts so do not treat him as such….except for patting him on the head and telling him he’s been a good boy.
4.   Guys Listen to your Women
a.   Fellas…you need to take time out for the woman that you love.  You want to be appreciated for the things that you actually do then start with what she has been lacking..attention.  This is not sex or romance.  This is coming home & giving her your undivided attention for 20-30 minutes & genuinely ask how her day was then shut up.  Do not speak.  Just listen and hold her.  Have an actual conversation.  Don’t start answering IM’s or emails, phone, or anything.  UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.  Whatever she has to say is important to her and al she wants is to be heard and please do not offer any solutions. 
5.   Repeat Step 1
a.   Like anything we do in life, practice makes perfect.  Take a deep breath.  Find something to give him credit on.  You don’t have to agree but he still needs that reinforcement.  If he puts the toilet seat down there is your first moment.  Walk up to that man kiss him on the cheek and thank him for it.  I guarantee you will find more seats down in the future.  
If you noticed on the bottom you can now give feed back with just a click & not write a comment TYVM

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