Fiery Beginnings End in Frigid Despair.

Meeting someone new with whom you 'click' with is great isn't it.  Everything seems brand new, creativity goes thru the roof and everything in the universe seems right, perpetual order to the celestial chaos that is life.  Some couples have managed to spread this feeling throughout the span of their relationship; even with the inevitable ups and downs of relationships.  Others have crash & burn within a short period of time, and are left with symptoms of withdrawal. That new car smell feeling that we all experience when we get into a relationship, is just a bombardment of chemical reactions in our brains. Got to love our gray matter!  I won’t get into the whole chemical breakdown of love and lust so do not worry. 

Image courtesy of Elissiana Caproni

We as humans are physiologically built for intimate relationships in every aspect not just sexual.  The brain craves the rush of hormones that are released whenever we get a text, an instant message, a phone call, a touch, a kiss, a smile or anything associated with whoever triggers those feelings.  Now the real trick is how we get these feelings to last.  That is what makes or breaks relationships at times. 

1: Take it slow & even though our natural reaction is to tell that person everything about us, refrain as if your life depended on it.  Treat every conversation like a collegiate essay & do not use the word ‘I’.

2. Do not play games, if you are feeling that person let them know, but don’t spend every waking moment with them at first. You still need some time apart to pursue your own interests. Send a message letting them know that they are on your mind but you cannot talk at the moment because you want to be able to give them your full attention. Yes it may be a lie but the sense of longing is what you are conditioning yourself towards.

3. All in moderation. Trying to revive that spark is a pain. A wise teacher once told me, it is less stressful maintaining a passing grade than recovering a failing one.

When we start to build a tolerance to being in a relationship; this is when things go sour. Similar to any addiction we eventually need more to recreate that high. People begin seeking out that high outside of their relationship, when their significant other or interest cannot supply their increasing demand….. but that’s another topic for another day).

Books, songs, television, talk shows and all other form of media has spoken on this phenomenon we call relationship and this info should not be anything new to you, it is just the ramblings of a madman.