There are people in SL who are genuinely sincere in their approach. Whether it be for love, friendship & yes even casual sex (since there are entire sims devoted to casual sex & noobies). Others hide their intent, not because they want to deceive, there are those that do, but because of uncertainty & trying to protect what is dear to them, their heart.
As I noted before things happen very quickly in SL and I advised on controlling the flirts. If you are one of the few genuine real people in SL, you need to be aware of your own actions as well as others. For starters, do not jump gung ho into that new person that you meet. Take your time, ask questions, and refrain from flirting and over complimenting on the avatar’s appearance. Someone told me that I asked a lot of questions, well I have to in order to decide whether or not I want to pursue this friendship and have it evolve into something more. It’s too easy to flirt but takes a disciplined person to refrain from it and if you remove the rubbish from the IM’s guess what you are having people…..a real & hopefully engaging conversation!! Don’t get me wrong flirting has its place just not every time you IM a person, eventually it will get boring & what happens when the other person is not in the mood then you are left thinking they are an ass because you got blew off.
A now good friend of mine told me that they do not like people slobbering over their avatar. She is tired of men drooling over the avatar & not taking the time to find out who is behind the vixen. The same can be said for women who drool. You lose whatever bit of interest that person held for you and they might even begin to avoid you. It is okay to compliment just don’t overdo it along with the flirting.
If you are interested in a person and they are always the driving force of the conversation then you might have to look a little deeper inside yourself. It needs to be a two-way conversation or else someone will be labeled boring. Find something to talk about, that is why you must ask questions people!!! I have only found a few people who are able to carry on a solid conversation, other I am probing & probing trying to get them to talk since they have expressed interest as well. Once I stop asking the conversation goes dead & then there is this awkward silence.
To get the affection of your heart’s desire you need sincerity & most importantly respect personal boundaries. There is nothing wrong with trying to spend as much time together as possible you just need to balance it. Leave that person an open invitation, if you are going to be at a club let them know that they are more than welcome to join you and that your IM box is always available. Leave it at that. Do not press the issue and keep the conversation friendly. If they are available, they will show & if they are at least interested in you, they will at least IM you. Try being friends first, don't forget to read the signs and protect what is dear to you.
As with any of my postings I welcome anonymous comments, voice mails & hate-mail.
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